So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
