Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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