he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
