I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
