I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
