Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
