I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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