you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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