we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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