guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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