i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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