Pants 0. Shit 1.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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