he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
