do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My breasts were aching with rage.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
