Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
vagina is talking i cant
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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