kristin has been a bad kristin
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
