how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
