You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
