Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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