epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
