Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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