Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
