A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
