no, he came in my armpit
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
