PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
