Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
