sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
