you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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