is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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