It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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