I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
