Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
