I accidentally burped into my bong.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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