I wanna bring you to show and tell
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
