i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
