Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you traded sex for a burrito?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
