'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
