just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
