You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
