do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
