They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
