well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
