It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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