i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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