im six kinds of drunk right now
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
did i walk over a car last night?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
