if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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