Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
