oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
