So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
