u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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