Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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