The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
