Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
