dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
