dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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