dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
